is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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