paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
