It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
