Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
