His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
