Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
