you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
