Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
