He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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