a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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