First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
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For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
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Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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