Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
