whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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