We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
