Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
