he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
