Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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