What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
