it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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