Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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