i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
