By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
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If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize