I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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