omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
This is my gift to your gina
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
