We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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