Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
