i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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