what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
