I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
