Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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