The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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