508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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