I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
