The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
