Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Blood and glitter go together right?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
