Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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