David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
