You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
how drunk are you?
Several
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize