do herpes really smell.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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