too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize