My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
