Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
