I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
