Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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