we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
