I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
