So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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