If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
