i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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