I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize