Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
