if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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