my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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