We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
