just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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