You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We're too hungover to prance.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
