Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Come see our sink grown plant.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
