all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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