I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
