You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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