If i come over, it means nothing
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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