so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
