Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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