i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Boobs are out for the taking
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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